FEAR SCARES ME

Fear is a scary thing. 

Fear can paralyze us, and fear can energize us. Fear is a psychological drug affecting us all differently. We can fear failure. We can fear embarrassment and rejection. Worse yet, we can fear life, and we can fear death. And, with every step, we limit our potential. 

Fears of any kind always create self-doubt. The single biggest killer of careers is when someone loses confidence in what they do, what they allow to challenge them, and who they allow themselves to become. If you’re afraid long enough, everyone will begin to doubt their own abilities. Self-talk changes from positive confidence to blame, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough.” “I grew up poor.” Or “I didn’t go to college, so my future is limited.” As a result, everyone around you can see and feel your fear and lack of confidence. 

Allowing fear to dictate our lives cancels our dreams. In my business coaching practice, I meet struggling business owners and executives all the time who, due to fear, have literally blown meaningful career opportunities by allowing fear to infiltrate their souls. 

The long-term effect I’ve observed is that most affected people lose the ability to dream. They lose all contact with life’s potential. They have no goals or vision for the future. They survive from day to day.

I challenge them with the question, and I challenge you, “How big would you allow yourself to dream, if you knew you could not fail?” Toss out all logic and your current mindset. Allow yourself two minutes of fantasy. I won’t tell anyone. Heck, lock yourself in an office, turn out all the lights, take the phone off the hook so no one will know you’re there, and answer my question. Many have forgotten how to dream.

Experts will say that Laird Hamilton was the greatest surfer on the planet, and much of his success stems from how he approaches fear. He said in an interview, “I tell people that they should get scared. It’s good for our systems. Our systems were designed to be under threat. Fear makes you better, it makes you hear better, it makes you think better – once you’re used to harnessing it.”

It’s ok to be afraid. There’s nothing wrong with it; in fact, some will say it’s healthy, but you must not allow it to rule your life. Never become satisfied with your fears. Never let your fears make you comfortable or confident with a mediocre life rather than an exceptional life. 

I want you to clearly understand how fear has affected your dreams. Do you still know how to dream? Can you still allow yourself to dream? At some point, we must say, enough. Stand tall and shout to the world, “I am sick of being afraid. I must take charge to have and achieve my dreams and goals.” You cannot wait for things to change.

 You do not need permission to change. 

Make a list of your fears, no matter how small or large, and be honest. Then, pick one and beat it, overcome it. Then choose another and another. If you’re afraid of public speaking, join a speaking class and surround yourself with a supportive environment. If you’re in sales and afraid to close a prospect because they might say no, make it a game. Tell yourself that every NO is one NO closer to a yes. Most of our fears stem from what we believe others might think or perceive about us, but the reality is that most people don’t care and won’t remember those moments later. So, what do you say? Let’s have some fun and dream a bit.