The Truth About Trust

The truth about trust is that it is tough to earn and very easy to lose. I don’t know who said it, but a person very experienced in the emotions of broken trust said, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”

More than at any other time in the history of man, today, the importance of earning and keeping trust is making its mark. Since our neanderthal cousins stole a neighbor’s dinosaur leg bone for dinner, or Caesar’s betrayal on the Ides of March. When the doctor told you, “This won’t hurt,” or the last time share salesperson who said, “Trust me, you won’t regret it,” the ability to acquire and keep trust is getting harder and harder.

I think the reason for this planet-wide lack of trust is relatively simple. Throughout recent history, we have heard, seen, and accepted things that later turned into so many lies, betrayals, negativity, two-faced, half-truths that we literally do not inherently trust anyone.

I am a big fan of American blues music. When I discuss this subject, I think of the lyrics from a song by the legendary bluesman B.B. King. He sings, “Nobody loves me like my mother, but she could be jivin’ too!”  We’ve accepted things on their face value only to be shown that we’ve accepted hearsay and false bravado. And then we’re embarrassed, frustrated, and wary of any personal or business relationship.

So here are just five tips on not being personally or professionally taken by undisciplined trust.

1. Listen to your gut. If that little voice (or voices) in your head says something is off about what you just heard or said, it probably is. Think about it.
2. Slow down. Make as few purely emotional decisions as possible. Let your emotions help you understand your need, then let logic take over. Determine what you want and then research where you can get it.
3. Take a break. Once you decide quickly on something, make it a habit to give it an hour or a day. If there is a gotcha involved, you’ll usually become aware of it during your “reflection” break
4. Ask for Input. This is where a trusted advisor, mentor, or loving friend can help. Don’t fear another opinion; drop the ego and ask for one.
5. Find that trusted advisor. Like it or not, in life, we’ll be lucky to have two or three people that we can really, without a shadow of a doubt, totally and completely trust. We’ll have lots of good acquaintances, but not many trusted advisors. So, find one or two, or if you’re lucky, three people you CAN trust. And whether you take their advice or not, a second opinion can change your life if it helps you make a better decision. It can change your attitude, improve confidence, and sometimes save you hundreds or thousands of dollars.

Remember that everything, and I mean everything of value, is based on trust. We’re learning that one of the driving factors in hiring and retaining good people is understanding that people want to trust their leadership, and in turn, they want to be trusted. This single fact is a powerful driver of successful leadership.

Every interaction you have with anyone either increases or decreases trust. Be aware of the importance of building and keeping trust in our world today, as it is a key differentiator in everything you do.

Shakespeare may have said it best: “Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none.”  However, a close second might be a digital world take on trust: “Never trust someone who takes hours to text back, but when you hang with them, they check their phone every minute.”

And that is the Truth about Trust. Trust me on that!