LET’S GIVE THAT A TRY

Three little letters. Three stinking little letters. Three devious, nasty, stinking little letters make up one of the most evil little words in our collective vocabulary. The word has toppled businesses, ended relationships, and cost billions in lost potential. It’s a word that will spell disaster for your personal and professional life if you allow it to.

TRY is the reason some people will always end up on their butt, in the middle of the day, eating Cheetos and watching replays of Olympic curling. The word TRY is the psychological assassin of careers and lives. When someone says “TRY,” it just silently screams, “I’m too lazy”, “I have no confidence”, and “I’m not committed.” 

The word itself is very deceptive. It’s just so simple to say. “Let’s give it a try!” “I’ll try that.”  “I’ll try the best I can.” “I tried!”, or my favorite, “I’m trying as hard as I can.”

I am a Master Business Coach, and I consistently preach to business owners, entrepreneurs, and executives on the power of mindset. Careers and, for that matter, fortunes are made and lost every day based on the effects of how we think. I believe that there are only two mindsets a person can choose from. One is a mindset of SURVIVAL, constructed from the word TRY. The other is a mindset of Possibilities, built from the word DO.

A survival mindset forces a person to always “just be getting by,” and all their energy and focus are on things that “might” happen; in other words, all they think about are the “what if’s” of life. 

Possibility mindsets defy internal and external issues. It is always driven by the belief that we can accomplish anything we ardently believe we can by training ourselves to constantly look for opportunities and ways to better control what we can control.

There is some crazy research going on about the psychological and physical effects words like TRY can have, if said enough and believed. It’s been found that the word TRY drops testosterone by 40%, then allows the flooding of your system with cortisol, the vital steroid hormone that acts as the body’s primary stress hormone. 

In layman’s terms: Say TRY enough, and you’ll stress yourself out.

When you say TRY, the nervous system hears “I’m probably going to fail!” And the body then responds by reducing the levels of confidence hormones, thereby increasing stress. Stanford researchers analyzed the negotiation strategies of thousands of professional negotiators. Those who used the TRY language had 34% worse outcomes than those who used decisive language. Just as a reminder, TRY language includes phrases like “Let’s give it a try!” and “I’ll try that.”  “I’ll try the best I can.” “I tried!” Decisive language is “I Will”, “I Am”, “Yes, we can”. 

“I’ll TRY to get it done” signals uncertainty.

“I’ll have it done by Friday” signals commitment. 

So, what about the people who hear you say this devious little word? The same researchers found that a listener’s brain responds to your CERTAINTY vocabulary by matching it with positive thoughts and emotions. Or, in turn, it exploits your perceived doubt, forcing negative emotions and actions. Neuroscience shows that the word “TRY” triggers a biochemical response that degrades performance. The brain takes the TRY or WHAT-IF input and feeds it back to itself, as if to say, “I am failing!”

One stinking little word has the power to change how everyone around you perceives you, if you allow it to.  

Today, there’s no middle ground. 

People who get noticed say very succinctly, “I can” or “I can’t”; there is no in-between.

Here’s one simple way to challenge yourself before allowing the word TRY to be uttered. Train yourself to always first ask this one little question: “What can I do for certain right now?” This one little question shifts us from a “WHAT IF” hypothetical to Factual and almost instantly deactivates the fear center of our brain. In fact, when test groups focused on this phrase, they achieved 67% faster decision-making. Not “what if”, not “What might happen” but “What do I actually know right now?”

At Howard University, anxiety researchers tested 400 people experiencing panic attacks. “What can I do for certain right now?” This one-line verbal intervention stopped 83% of anxiety spirals in under 90 seconds. 

Are you kidding me? 

Look, your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most anxiety doesn’t come from reality; it comes from your interpretation of it. Don’t let your mind play mind games with you. Thoughts aren’t facts. Thoughts are habits that can be changed. 

This entire diatribe can be summarized in the immortal words of the greatest Coach in the known universe and beyond. So, read it; remember it; live it. 

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Yoda

Amen Brother.