MOTHER, MAY I?

There is an evil force in the universe that has the power to infect us all. It has nothing to do with politics, vaccinations, or gas prices. It is addictive and dangerous. It is the hidden force that keeps capable people from reaching their potential.

APPROVAL ADDICTION symptoms begin with self-doubt, a survival mindset, and more. They all lead to career-killing fear. Some people cannot, will not, make any decision without seeking someone else’s approval. It’s easy to become a slave to others’ opinions. Sometimes the only difference between a successful person, entrepreneur, or executive, for that matter, and those still seeking approval is their willingness to make decisions, then bravely step out in faith and see what happens, leaving those still seeking approval in the dust.

APPROVAL ADDICTION can crush dreams. It can make people play small out of fear of rejection. Those who embrace rejection always win.

Other symptoms of approval addiction can cause a person to say yes when they should say no. They spend time on low-priority tasks others have pawned off on them, and they let it happen. They can’t say no.

One of the first laws of being a successful entrepreneur and businessperson is to protect your money. However, approval addicts will want only to spend money trying to impress people whose opinions don’t matter. Everyone has an opinion, and very few of them really matter. Successful people know whose opinion should matter. They know who can give them trusted counsel. We soon learn, hopefully, that all else is just noise.

The most harmful result of Approval Addiction is that, unless controlled, people will settle for lives that are far beneath their potential. They have no dreams because they focus on what others might think. They’re always worried about being on the right side of things, so they “fence sit” most of their lives trying to decide which side to be on. They never share their opinions, and over time their entire creative ability disappears. Potential brilliance is lost forever.

We’d still be sitting around open fires and wearing animal skins if humanity waited for approval. How many world-changing inventions would have never happened? Can you imagine Thomas Edison selling his light-bulb idea and asking his prospect, “What do you think?” And how many times was he told, "You’re crazy," "That’s nuts," "You should be committed," "I just bought a boatload of whale blubber for my lanterns," " So leave"? He had a dream that required no approval.

If you face this addiction, know that it’s curable. It is always nice to have someone’s approval, but we have the inherent ability to think for ourselves and make our own decisions. Top recruiters tell me they specifically look for candidates who can think for themselves. They look for people who can evaluate a situation, make a plan, and take action, unafraid to fail. And you know what, it’s ok to fail. In my experience, failure is the first step to success. Without failure, how do we know how to course correct, adapt, and adjust?

Not seeking approval for everything you do builds confidence, inventiveness, creativity, and long-term success. Learn to seek counsel, not approval. Not every decision will be right, but at least you made one. This mindset breeds innovation and lifelong learning. Take that first step, do what you want to do for a change, and see what happens.

Just try it. It’ll be fun.